Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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