hotel room ftw
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
