Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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