you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
