jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
