i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
