dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
