guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize