I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She made me pour olive oil on her.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
