Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
