so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
