Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
