I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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