all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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