a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
