the new term for farting is butt boxing.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
