Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
