Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
