i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
