is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
