Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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