Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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