I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
