every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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