Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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