me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
