I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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