dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
