pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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