our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
