so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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