Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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