from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
