I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
