goodnight i made you a song goodbye
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
