so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize