I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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