he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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