im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
