9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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