You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
