it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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