the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
