cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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