The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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