I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
