You just made me feel so damn special
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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