she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Two words: nipple clamps
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