Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize