Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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