Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
please come you make the beer taste better
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
