I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
