If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
