how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
