i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
