I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
