Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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