Jerry, you need to find god
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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