Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
