ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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