I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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