Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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