call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
