My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
