please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
