Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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