just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
