I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Randomize
