i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
