Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize