i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
