that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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