I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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