That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
