I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
