Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My feet surprised me
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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