i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
