If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
