I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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