therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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