Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
